Lessons I Learned During Autism Recovery
I can remember the day he was diagnosed. I was laying in a very hard and uncomfortable hospital bed giving birth to my second son.
Life and death all in the same day.
That might seem grim, yet when you lose a child to a dark space it really does feel like death. I had the choice; do I fight or do I give up? Well, I suppose you know how that turned out.
Yesterday I was sitting in a quiet space staring at my big strong, now 9 year old boy, and began to think about some lessons the journey of recovery taught me.
Lesson #1. Sometimes there are just no answers
In a world where we want perfection, we want immediate responses, we want ANSWERS! You just don’t get that with autism. What you get is “sorry ma’am but he will probably live with you the rest of your life”.
What the hell does that mean? Picture me screaming silently at the Neurologist. Does that mean he will speak? Does that mean his tummy will feel better some day? Does that mean he will actually have a friend? Does that mean he will stop rolling his cars back and forth? Will he actually get a full nights sleep? Cause this mom is about to lose her shit!
Nope. There are no answers. The only constant in autism is that there is no constant. Every day looks different. Every child is unique. Makes you wonder why this is not called an epidemic and treated as such, rather than a “condition”. That is a fight for another day.
So what do you do when there are no answers?
Lesson #2. YOU Don’t take anything at face value
So when the Doctor says there is nothing you can do, or that he/she can’t tell you what will work or not work, or God-forbid you get the same neurologist as me who stares at your belly and says you should never have any more kids…aside from sending evil spells their way, you look them square in the face and say…”I don’t believe you, watch me find my child again!”
Lesson #3. Grit
Over heard several people I work alongside with describe me as having “grit”. I own it. It takes grit to make things happen in this world. What is grit?
|| courage and resolve; strength of character ||
Courage to take on the fight.
Resolve to keep going until my child is living his fullest potential.
No matter how high that mountain is, the cost, the burden I will bear. It will be done.
Lesson #4. My Boy is perfect just the way he is
What is my son’s fullest potential? As his mom I am pretty sure deep down I always knew what that was, it just got lost in the shuffle of a diagnosis. The confusion of what someone tells you your child’s lot in life will be. Do I believe it? Do I just swallow it?
There is no doubt in my mind that each and every one of us are made perfect in the eyes of God. Sometimes, we just need a little support, because we live in a world that has so many unknowns, so many hurdles, so many toxins! What I found to be THE MOST profound lesson I will ever learn in this lifetime is that I will never stop at helping my son blossom and grow into the fullest expression of who HE is meant to be.
What does that mean exactly?
If removing milk helps his tummy I am going to do it!
If removing gluten helps his brain think better, yeah I am gonna do it!
If using natural remedies helps support his immune system versus the nasty side effects of conventional medicine, you bet your bottom dollar I will do it!
If I have to fire 10 ABA therapists to find the right floor time therapist I will!
If I have to argue and stomp my feet in his IEP, don’t bother calling the cops, cause this momma will get her way!
If I need to remove every single cleaning toxin in my home and use something natural, easy peasy. And cheaper!
It looks like this…doing the things that help him live the most vibrant life he can. Period.
I am the gatekeeper of my home and I make the final call.
We continue to learn more lessons every day, some within the realm of autism recovery and some that have to do with life in general. There are no mistakes in life, only lessons that point us in a direction we should be moving in.